I agree it’s important to 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐆𝐈𝐕𝐄 for our mental, emotional and physical well-being. But do we really 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐆𝐄𝐓?

Don’t you think telling our mind repeatedly ‘𝐓𝐨 𝐅𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭’ (𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐜𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐥𝐲) something will actually keep reminding us about that event/person?

In fact, NOT FORGETTING, prevents us from making the same mistake again. Eg: betrayal, business failure etc.

But forgiving, moving on and not carrying the baggage definitely takes us a long way.

A few months back I was talking to a friend of mine, who was telling me how she will never forgive a person who has hurt her emotionally which left her devastated.

I realized, she was holding-on to and unable to break free from those thoughts.

I then questioned her – “How was it helping her keeping him in her mind? This person was occupying her thoughts.

It is YOU who is carrying the grudges, baggage and pain with you.

The other person might not be even aware of that and would be living their life as normally as ever.

𝐖𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐦𝐞.

Why do you want to give him a 𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐓-𝐅𝐑𝐄𝐄 𝐬𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐞 in your 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝?”

After processing these few questions, she realized instead of taking responsibility and learning from her past experience, she was stuck in a victim mindset.

Now, with this new perspective of thoughts, she has redefined her conscious efforts in this direction to achieve peace with self and past.

𝐈𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐲? 𝐍𝐨! 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞. 𝐒𝐞𝐞𝐤 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩, 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐨 𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞.

I strongly think that – Forgiving is not really for others. It’s for 𝐲𝐨𝐮!

It gives us control over our inner life and thoughts.

Harboring hate, being unforgiving can also lead to onset of physical illness.

When we forgive, we feel lighter and feel more in control of our emotions.

Allow yourself to err, do not be harsh upon self, do not dwell in past but rather resolve old issues and shape a new path to walk on using the learnings from your past.

𝐎𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐯𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬/𝐛𝐚𝐠𝐠𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐧𝐨 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐜𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐞𝐟𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐅𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭 as it won’t bother your mental peace anymore. 

𝑨𝒓𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒅 𝒊𝒏 ‘𝑭𝒐𝒓𝒈𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑭𝒐𝒓𝒈𝒆𝒕’ 𝒘𝒊𝒔𝒅𝒐𝒎?

Ranjitha Raj